FUNNY MESSAGES

2 hearts, 1 souls, 1 beat, You and Me!

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

If a tree falls in the woods... Do all the other trees laugh at it?

My love for you is like diarrhrea, I just can't hold it in.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Are you too gullible? We can cure you! Send $1,000 to...

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Which of the three are you?

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

I'm bartending at an AA meeting... bbl

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I had amnesia once - maybe twice.

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Don't take life too seriously; no-one gets out alive.

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave

you a shower!!!