FUNNY Text MESSAGES
If they say good looks could kill, then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!
Be nice to the ones who smoke... Every cigarette might be their last.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Keep the school clean … stay home!
Is there another word for synonym?
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
My feelings for you are like the sea. “Wild and romantic?” "No, they make me sick."
Love me or leave me. Hey, where is everybody going???
Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
I saw something in the superstore casement yesterday. It was dazzling sexy attractive beautiful & gorgeous. I was supposed to buy it for you till I realized it was my own REFLECTION.
"Learn to appreciate art," I told my girlfriend. She said, "How could I appreciate you, then?"
20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.
Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?
HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, the smell is unbearable!!!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
If they say "Good looks could kill", then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.
I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.
I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!
Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!
Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?
No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
Sorry I am late, I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Sorry, I am having an out of money experience.
Sorry, I cannot make it because there is a power failure. I am stuck on the escalator.
The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?
They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.
This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?
Tonight there will be an ice cream party. All ladies giving milk please come early.
What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much.
When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!
When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.
When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.
You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body... sorry, wrong number
How do you occupy an idiot?
Press down
How do you occupy an idiot?
Press up
